1. Not being listened to & our advice not being taken.
If an INTJ is in an environment where their opinions are not heard,
where they may be surrounded by family members that dismiss their minds,
or they aren’t able to express their views, this happening A LOT will really hurt
an INTJ in many ways (hurt meaning do damage to), so they will most likely
fully remove themselves from this situation.
2. Not having our independence.
I was raised by a classic workaholic ENTJ mother, who was brilliant and
amazing and the only woman I could talk politics with. However, she was also
overly protective and very controlling, especially as I got into my tweens and was
mentally functioning like an adult by age 10. I think she wasn’t prepared for how
quickly I grew up, moved out, and didn’t need her for anything. I didn’t need anyone.
This has truly been my life… other people have “mostly” only served to weigh me down,
rather than benefit or add value to my life.
I’m not saying it’s impossible, but when you’ve been self-sufficient and independent
from that young of an age, including starting college at 14, on full scholarship AND
have been smart enough to pay for all of my college since, never had debt, and
am solely bootstrapping and funding my own companies? Let’s just say….
adding true value to my life comes at a much higher bar.
INTJ’s crave independence and to have our full freedom to do as we wish in life.
We need it, to be healthy.
3. Being Smothered.
We don’t like. We don’t want it. Being smothered, by a man or clingy friend,
can be suffocating to us. We can also feel smothered easily, and overwhelmed.. easily.
So, if you notice an INTJ disappear for awhile, in addition to we just needed the time
to ourselves; often times it can be because they were feeling smothered in someway
and needed to escape.
4. Having unrealistic expectations of our time or energy.
INTJ’s thrive alone. We need our time and energy to function. We need to focus.
If we feel someone is wanting or demanding too much of our time and energy,
if we care about them; we can give too much too fast and it can leave us feeling bitter.
This can make us unhealthy if it continues and the INTJ will either put up a firm wall,
or remove you from their life completely if it’s just who you are as a person.
So, remember, INTJ’s aren’t extroverts. We don’t like people, we only want our trusted few,
so please don’t expect us to act like anything else. Otherwise you will be ghosted indefinitely.
5. Seeking constant external validation.
I am guilty of this one, and it has negatively impacted me. Don’t worry, I’m learning.
But if you pay attention…. ALL INTJ’s do this in some fashion! Rather it’s low key, or
Te in your face; ALL INTJ’s secretly seek some level of tribe validation.
Be it for something superficial, or their ideas, or their achievements.
LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF. Seriously, INTJ’s can place TO much emphasis on what
other people think (most of them will deny this because #wedontgiveaf right?) but I’m
here to be real and f*cking honest with you. Just stop.
Stop the attention seeking. Stop the praise and approval seeking.
IF you are INTJ and you do these things, it is out of an internal insecurity from a desire
that is secretly unmet inside of you. So stop. Truly, don’t give af.
That is all.
I hope this was helpful.